Making Writing Friends

One of the big pieces of advice for writing is find your community. Make writing friends. Get to know other writers.

The truth is I didn’t for a very long time. In fact, a year ago, I didn’t really have any writing friends. I was on Twitter, but mostly a lurker. It felt like everyone had their writing buddies. Also, I didn’t think anyone would WANT to be friends with me. I’m fairly introverted and tend to keep to myself now, so the thought of going out of my way was like *DEAR GOD PLEASE NO* so I really didn’t for a very long time.

And then something changed. I started participating in the #momswritersclub Twitter chats every other Wednesday. And then I joined the Slack for #1000wordsofsummer (I’ll be diving into that closer to time) and broke off into a parents writer Discord. And then I kept making more writer friends. Then I started a Romance Slack and then I started co-hosting #romtalk …

Here’s what I’m trying to say – I know what it’s like to write without any friends. And I know what it’s like to write with several friends, and having a writing community has made all the difference in the world.

I can’t even begin to explain how thankful I am for all my writing friends. I am so lucky to have them.

So WHY is it so important to have writer friends you can lean on? SO many reason. Brainstorming, talking through mental blocks and imposter syndrome. Pushing your creativity. Cheering you on. Consoling you when you need it (not getting picked for a mentorship, a rejection from an agent, a tough bit of feedback from a reader). To read your work and offer constructive criticism. To yell and scream about everything they love about your work. To discuss the day’s publishing Twitter drama. There are about a million reasons.

Getting other people to read your work is SUPER scary but also it’s the only way you are going to know what’s missing and what needs to change. I can’t tell you how many times it is in my head but someone points it out that it isn’t on the page. But also, reading for OTHER people helps you learn so much too and will make you a much stronger writer (planning to go more in depth about CP and beta reading soon).

Sure it’s great to follow amazing authors on social media, but the truth is, it is really helpful to surround yourself with people who are closer to where you are in your writing journey. That’s really how you are going to learn the most.

So how do you find your people? I’ve got some suggestions, but the main thing is you’ve got to put yourself out there.

Twitter is where the writers are, so if you don’t have Twitter, set it up. And if you do but don’t use it, get on it. Yes there are plenty of writers on Instagram and Facebook, but I personally think Twitter is your best best.

Search and use the hashtags. #writingcommunity is a big one (but kind of congested in my opinion). #amwriting(genre) is a good one. I love #momswritersclub. If you write romance (or want to write romance or want to write things with romantic elements), join us for #romtalk (every other Thursday night!). There are also other writer chats on Twitter you can join in. #5amwritersclub is for the super early crowd (which I am definitely not). Anyway, there are lots of hashtags you can search to help you find people.

#Pitlight is a super fun event where people share what their works in progress are and everyone says nice things and cheers each other on (also a good place to look for CPs and beta readers). I’m not sure when the next one is.

If you are looking at mentorships, sometimes there are community building things that go along with them. RevPit is one that I know normally has activities for people who have applied (or not!). I think they usually do a Camp Revpit too? I’m not sure if/when that is going on.

Nanowrimo and Camp Nano are two writing events that can help you meet other writers (I’ve never done either so I don’t know much). I do know it is a lot of writing in a short amount of time.

If you are a Facebooker (Which I am not) there are lots of writing groups on there too. (sorry this isn’t my area of expertise but I know they are there). The Manuscript Academy has a facebook page where you can post questions and things. There is also the Friday Kiss page for romance writers (and I am sure there are ones for all genres).

Maybe you build up the courage and start your own Slack or Discord group. It’s nice having a smaller group that you can chat with (honestly HIGHLY recommend this if you can do it). Or see if there is one out there already you could join! Most writers are super welcoming!

Or maybe you really want to be in a writing group. Ask around Twitter and see if others would be interested in trying it. It’s worth a shot!

Don’t be afraid to just jump in there and mingle on twitter! That’s what it’s there for. And honestly, most writers are fairly awkward so don’t worry about being nervous. Everyone is. And the majority of people are super nice.

So hopefully this post has convinced you to give it a shot and try to find your people. If it works out? That’s awesome! You’ve made new friends. And if it doesn’t? Who cares. They’re just strangers on the internet 🙂